Pink Pineapple Power Establish Boundaries

Allowing others to invade your boundaries shows one of several things. Either you are putting others’ needs or feelings before your own, you don’t know your own boundaries, you feel like you don’t have or deserve rights, you are afraid of hurting your relationship with the other person, or you have no idea what healthy boundaries really are. In all these cases, you have given away your Pink Pineapple power to someone else.

Our boundaries are something we learn and develop over time. If your boundaries were not valued growing up, you may not feel you have a right to these. Abuse of any kind, whether physical, emotional, or verbal, violates your boundaries. If you suffered severe teasing or bullying as a child, you may not feel you can say “stop” to others without incurring consequences.

Your boundaries represent your rights as a human being. They are the things you can do without fear of judgment or consequences. You have the right to be respected and treated courteously. You have the right to your own privacy.

 You can change your mind. You have the right not to respond to questions, emails, or phone calls. You have the right to expect those people you hire to do a job to complete it the way you want. These are all examples of boundaries some people may have a tough time honoring.

 You even need boundaries with yourself. These include habits and behaviors that provide you with the self-discipline to honor your goals and needs. They include the way you manage your time, impulses, and emotions as well as how you talk to yourself. You have the same rights to respect and kindness from yourself as you do with others.

 When you establish and affirm healthy boundaries, you are saying to yourself and the world that you are worthy of having your needs met. You are agreeing to be responsible for yourself and your own happiness while allowing everyone else to do the same for themselves. You are acknowledging that your opinion or view is just as valid as others, and you are agreeing to take responsibility for your own emotions and actions.

Setting Effective Boundaries

The purpose of boundaries is to provide you with protection and well-being. They are not meant to punish someone else. And boundaries are only good if you set them and then honor them by following through with those who cross them. Setting boundaries with others is best accomplished when you can say your needs in a courteous but assertive manner, calmly and firmly explaining what it is you need.

If the person does not seem to understand your boundary, you may need to include a consequence. Consequences must be something you can live with and are prepared to carry out, so be sure they are appropriate.

 Setting effective boundaries takes time and support. You may have to make several attempts to communicate your boundaries with others before it finally sinks it. Becoming more aware of your own needs and discomfort will help you identify the areas in your life where you need more boundaries.

 When you learn to set boundaries, though, it enhances your self-esteem and prioritizes yourself over others, which is empowering. Regain your personal power by starting today to set up more healthy boundaries in your life.